Doomed
To live
in paradise
It was a cold day around Christmas. I remember the unforgiving cold air entering my lungs like a multitude of microscopic sharp knives…the pure untouched white snow in the branches…it was a winter I expected for a long time. Finally the rain was over, I thought to myself as I walked down the steep road I dreamt of living on. I then remembered the previous months being unsure of where I would end up after moving so many times. As I took in the fresh cold morning breeze, I reminded myself I really wanted to live here In spite of the fact that it seemed impossible and yet, there I was; feet planted 300m above sea level. “I have arrived” I sighed deeply. “I am home”.
The trees, the snow, the ocean and islands in the distance, the mountains…in that moment, I felt a little less lonely. I still had no friends, really, and no one to truly celebrate Christmas with but I needed to learn to bear my presence alone; Organize my thoughts and find more inner peace within. This was the place for it. This is where I could finally begin a long healing journey before this cycle would end…just like every other cycle…it always ends.
Celebrate
with
intention
On my birthday I decided to head north and ended up 3.5 hours deep in the mountains. Nothing makes me feel more alive than being remote in nature. The air was palpable and rich. It’s almost like I could feel the spirits inhabiting the land. I could feel them speak. There is a line in lyrics from a heavy metal band called Silent Planet that I love; “I’m learning what it means to trade my certainty for awe”. In that moment, that line made sense. The feeling was intangible, and the understanding volatile. I felt part of myself evaporate. I suddenly felt free. My stress was not mine anymore. I was able to let it go. I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I stayed for a little while, and just as I felt at the peak of my experience I gave my thanks to the spirits and was on my way home. This feeling, that experience, was the best gift I could have asked for in the moment and this is why I’ll always be a big proponent for spending time in nature. It’s proved to be good for your mental and physical health. Also spiritual health (I added that one).
The
Lion’s gate
Bridge
I don’t think I can say I’m a big fan of bridges neither am I in a state of hatred towards them. They are just bridges. Unless they are more than just bridges. Maybe it’s the history or the scenery. This specific bridge to me signifies a journey. A journey to freedom, to awe. A journey to get lost. A journey to yourself. A journey to the past. A journey to the new. I crossed this bridge more times than I can count and every time, for some reason, it’s always a unique experience. No other bridge makes me feel this way and it’s always going to be my favourite.